"There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting."
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Monday, April 2, 2007

just call me - Edward


yes, I am now known affectionately by my family as Edward Scissorhands... last week I had a slight 'mishap' with a pair of scissors. a very sharp pair of scissors. I received a parcel from Tara in France that had the word 'chocolate' written on the customs form so of course I had to open it. then and there. the parcel had been opened by customs and for some strange reason, they had decided to use tape to seal it back up. no idea why, 'cause they usually send it on not resealed very well. this time they had used a year's supply of tape. and I had to tackle it with one hand as I was on the phone to my sister as I opened the package. multi-tasking I think it is called. so I was cutting away and whoosh, those scissors found their mind of their own and went off on a wild tangent into my arm. I thought - 'gawd that was lucky' - thinking I had missed and then the blood started spurting or gurgling is a better word... so I yelled to my sister on the phone, 'I will call you back, I have slashed my wrist' & jumped up, trying to prevent it from going all over my very expensive axminster carpet and grabbed the white sheet that was covering my lounge, called to my daughter Sophie - who applied pressure on the cut and I collapsed on the floor.

We got me into the car and Sophie drove me to the hospital emergency - with me going into slight shock and muttering stuff like "I am going to die" and told her I was so sorry I was such a strict and terrible mother (shock does strange things to one). She was great, she talked to me while she drove. When we arrived at the hospital - they yelled 'emergency triage' and I was taken immediately in. I looked a little like a mummy wrapped up in the sheet and oh, how glamorous I was. I had the oldest tracksuit pants on as well as one of Joe's thermal singlets and my hair was every witch way... when they took the bandage off, the nurse kind of sniggered as the cut was only about 1/4" long and had clotted so it looked innocent. However they put a pressure bandage on it and sent me to wait for a Dr ~ with all the other sick people - coughing and spluttering THEIR germs all over ME. . . . . . . 4 hours later I was taken into see the Dr whose first question was did I try to commit suicide... puhlease... although one cretin in blogworld did ask me that, via email. IDIOT. The Dr then proceeded to clean the wound, which promptly started spurting. He said 'my, that is deep' - I think you will need a stitch. (scissors went in about 1/2" or so). Injections into wound. OUCH. that is when I started to go cold & clammy & hot and ditzy and told him I was going to faint.. had to lie down and have the stitches inserted - 2 of them.. not many. It was at this moment that Sophie decided that it was all too much and had to sit down as well as she was just about passing out too. what a pair of funnies we were. "oh and when was your last tetnus shot?" I was asked "100 years ago I said" . jab in the arm..... don't get it wet until you get the stitches out in a week. left arm ... easy peasy..... not so.... hard to wash hair. no sewing or gardening. impossible to type on computer. severe withdrawals. typing with one finger...well you get what I am trying to say....
to make matters worse - I developed a chest cold and have been feeling pretty damn sick...let us hope that it is all over now and life in Woodford becomes quiet like it should be....


anyhow - I am back..lots to catch up on and alot of parcels still sitting here to be sent. SORRY to those of you who are expecting something - it will be on its way this week.
and thankyou, THANKYOU, thankyou for all the emails and well wishes...
and thankyou to daisy for keeping you informed xo

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

10.07 am - autumn equinox - believe in magick! (and the recipe)

sitting here having a cup of tea this morning ~ reading emails - getting ready to post this:
doesn't feel like autumn at all but by the calendar it is the autumn equinox..
the leaves are still green & it is really humid.. however - the currawongs are carolling outside and that always heralds autumn for me...
my wish for the world today is to go back to simpler times....


and the currowong sang at exactly 10.07am!!!!
ahh life is indeed magickal in my world
here is the promised link to the apple & cinnamon cake

autumn equinox cake

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

a kind blog

.... while I had my little sabbatical, I wandered around Blog world ~ like I was on vacation on Internet Island, and came across this: ( & I truly hope that my blog is everything a kind blog is supposed to be).. ...


By posting this badge, I'm declaring that in addition to humour, intelligence, wit, sadness, snarkiness, passion, exuberance, peace, stillness, excitability, anger or any other emotion you may witness on my site:

1) I will never intentionally hurt other people, whether I know them or not, whether they blog or not, whether they're celebrities or not, either through my words or my images. It's just not my style; and

2) I hope that by the time you've clicked away from my site, I've helped in some way to make your day just a little bit better.

Signed, Me

Monday, March 19, 2007

a new moon, a new beginning


a new moon today - is there any better time to start anew? a time to let go of negative ways.....



I had to step back from blogging taking a little time away to think. over the past few months, blogging for me became a frenzied activity. I was hyperventilating, stressing and becoming sad - trying to visit blogs so that I wouldn't upset anyone.... and all the time, I was upsetting myself. I was not enjoying it at all....after much contemplation, I decided that I really do enjoy blogging - and I am going to try with all my might, to do it for me - no-one else.
of course I will still be blogging my thoughts and how I feel, but I think I will turn comments off for those posts as they are really just my thoughts that I need to get down...and what better place than here?

so with that said ~ today is a special day for me in many ways...it is my mum's birthday, my 19th wedding anniversary and today, 6 years ago I heard the words - 'Robyn, you have cancer'. I have decided that being a new moon I am starting anew with my attitude towards life. I was never a bitter person, ever, but just lately I have become more and more bitter towards what life has dealt me. And I am really not like that at all. Being human, I am sure I will stumble and fall but when I do, I am going to pick myself up, brush my knees off and get on with it. I will nurture myself of course. On those days that my 'cancer head' rears up, I will thank it for the experience and send it on its way. I must, otherwise I will end up a bitter old crone instead of the pixie-faery that I truly am.

Monday, March 12, 2007

a break

sorry guys, I am on an extended break from putting my thoughts down..... if you want to keep in contact - email me through my profile - its been fun xo

Sunday, March 11, 2007

reflections n 'stuff'

I sit and wonder what life is all about, often. I know that death is as much part of life as is birth.... it is just another stage of our souls journey but I wonder why we hurt so much when death occurs.... I have been faced with death twice in this life
and I have had many people close to me die but each time it happens - it is like a stab to my heart. I grieve and I hurt.

the past few days have been emotionally hard for me - not because any one really close to me died - .... but the deaths during the past week, brought back my hurts, they reminded me of the raw grief that I went through when I was widowed at 19.... and although I am now married to my soul mate - that grief is a scar on my soul.

same with cancer - yes, I am a survivor. But each time someone dies from cancer, I feel guilty. I feel guilty for surviving and nothing anyone can say will stop that occuring - it is a perfectly natural emotion. so i am told.

It is 6 years on the 19th of March since I heard the words -"Robyn, we have found cancer" - a day that will always be an anniversary for me - 6 yrs, 20 yrs or 40 yrs on. It will remind me that no-one is immune from cancer. Not one person.

I believe each experience in life does leave a scar - it heals but it is always there to remind us. at the moment, I don't feel like blogging much either - funny that... cause I am usually a chatter box - but the past week has made me re-think things. I wonder why. The things that have happened over the past week weren't even directly associated to me but they have opened up alot of pondering, I guess.

I went to the funeral on Friday & silly me forgot to 'protect' myself. I usually do a white light protection to prevent me taking on anyone elses emotions. This time, I forgot and consequently I 'absorbed' alot of grief that was not my own. So I have spent the last day, doing cleansings and grounding myself.
I don't even know where I am going blogging wise at the moment. I don' t have alot to say and I am tired, spiritually. I won't say that I am giving blogging away, cause I don't think I will, but like I said who knows where I am going . . . .

Saturday, March 10, 2007

the perfect send off. . .

yesterday I attended the funeral of a friend.
Only he would have had the Travelling Wilburies 'End of the Line' playing as he was carried in.....
Only he would have had John Lennon's 'Imagine' playing as we reflected on his life.....
a perfect ceremony for a wonderful soul....
this poem below is what he requested to be read out as we walked from the chapel
THE THOUGHTS OF NANUSHKA
"to mourn too long for those we love is self - indulgent
but to honour their memory with a promise to live a little better for having known them, gives purpose to their life
and some reason for their death . ."

Thursday, March 8, 2007

I am spinning & struggling right now

I know I am going to be hit with an onslaught of positive thinking comments, but right now positive thinking is a long way off.... life sometimes sends curved balls and this time - it has sent me spinning and struggling... and what has happened in the past few days has made me physically sick.
the past few days seem to have had so much sad news, nothing to do directly with me but I feel so burdened with sadness... what the heck is life all about?
I know all the cliches about cancer... it isn't a death sentence - etc, etc etc.....but the bottom line is - cancer is the pits.. in a less than nice term - it sucks.
two days ago a friend died from cancer - I go to his funeral today. Yesterday a friend called me and told me her son in law had just received news that he has terminal cancer.. he is 20. Then to top that off I heard yesterday that another friends son in law had been killed in a motor cycle accident last week... he was just 21, his wife of 6mths is 20.
so right now - positive and happy thoughts are not living in my soul........ sadness is.