"There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting."

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

a yearning. . .


before you read any further, I am warning you that this post is straight from my head. You see, I have been vacuuming, and thinking and this has been worrying me for awhile and I NEED TO GET IT OUT..... not sure if it will make any sense at all.




I have a thirst in my soul, a yearning in my heart. That needs to be filled and I don't know how. It is not something that being with people can fix or things can fill. I ache with a loneliness deep in my soul. Creating 'stuff' helps to relieve the pain, sometimes. I am not depressed at all... I feel quite joyful actually, quite bubbly inside but sometimes I could just about cry with frustration of this thirst. I need help. I need to be guided and shown where to go, what to do and I need help in remembering to ask for help & guidance when I need it... the angels tell me that often....
I have tried lots & lots of things.... different healing modalities and various religions.... but NOT ONE fills the hole... oh they do for a short while... but then there is that niggling that I mentioned and I start to thirst.
I need a spiritual mentor..... someone who I can bare my soul to and maybe they can help me along the way.
I want to journal for my soul, I want to write and read poetry, paint and draw for my soul.... I want to create an altered book that feeds my soul, speaks to my soul and helps my souls thirst..... so, if you are listening God, angels or whoever is in charge of it all.... can ya help?

22 comments:

Gill said...

Write it, paint it, talk about it. Make pictures collarge style.Try to put it on paper.

Take care
Gill

Daisy Lupin said...

Instructions
1. Go out to a stationery shop
2. Buy the biggest thickest book you can see, doesn't matter about cover design, you can cover it.
3. Think of a time for you every day that is peaceful and quiet.
4. Go into your workroom at that time open the book don't even think about it just do it, put something on a page. Don't worry wart about it.
5. Repeat every day. Do not go back over what you did the day before continually go forward until one day that soul book is finished. Then look at it all.
6. Some things you will like some things you won't but it will have come from your soul. One rule NO HOLDS BARRED anything goes.
7. Writing collage painting anything even flowers from the garden if you feel like it.

Tinker said...

Daisy's suggestions sound wonderful. I think part of the yearning of our souls are growing pains, and I think in many ways it's a good thing - it encourages us to keep trying new things, learning and growing.

I'm sorry I didn't reply yet to your question about the Artist's Way/Finding Water - but yes, they're great things to try. We've just started the group reading of Finding Water this week, if you want to try it - but even without the book, here are the main precepts of the Artist's Way series - journalling 3 pages longhand every day you can; a weekly artist's date with yourself alone - can be anything, really as long as it's something that feels "playful" to you; taking at least one long walk every week; taking good care of yourself physically - sleeping enough (I've already fallen down on that one), eating healthy, drinking enough water, etc. There are of course other things Cameron suggests along the way, but those are the basics. I don't know if there's any one "system" that would foot the bill for me, so I really can't recommend just one thing - some of Cameron's books work for me, other things in them don't. I pick and choose what feels right, and what feels right for one person, may not feel right for another.
Don't know if any of this is at all helpful to you. Wish I had something better to offer - but know that kind and friendly thoughts are being beamed your way!
Sending you ((hugs))!
xoxo
P.S. Have you read any of SARK's books? I find them pretty refreshing to dip into from time to time - her books also help me remember she tried hundreds (literally) of jobs before she found things working out for her. Inspiration Sandwich is the first one of her books I picked up many years ago, but she's written several now I think.

KaiBlue said...

seek and you shall find what's inside. To see your soul..look deep within what mirrors you..
PEace, Kai.

Lila Rostenberg said...

Daisy's soul book sounds like a good path...a daily focus.

Remember to breathe and just BE.

You already have everything you need.

(We all feel this lonliness/emptiness...but we are all part of the whole, and are not really alone)

A bird in the hand said...

The hole I had inside me for so many years that I didn't know how to fill came from my childhood. I only understood that with therapy. I had to resolve those childhood issues, acknowledge/feel/let go of them, then began filling it myself from within. The reason it wasn't being filled was that I looked to other people to fill it.

Don't be afraid to meditate and look within. I call it excavation.

xoxoxo

Janet said...

I like Daisy's idea (and might just do that myself!) and I also think "a bird in the hand" is right. Meditation is a wonderful tool to learn about yourself. And I like her term "excavation".... so dig in there and discover yourself.
I understand the yearning for a mentor....I used to think that would be great, too but if one isn't available we must improvise.

gma said...

Personally I reconnected with myself reading/doing tasks from Artist Way. However all the suggestions are good...whatever resonates with you.
Just Be
Enjoy
Trust truth ...even if you don't understand it!!!

JoyceAnn said...

Robyn , I think we all struggle with this issue at times.Daisy's idea sounds wonderful.As Janet said I may try this myself.I'm sure you will learn alot about yourself by creating a soul book.

Create that altered SOUL BOOK !
Look within as Kai mentioned and put it in the book.Just create your own book with no rules or worries about what anybody thinks.

JoyceAnn said...

Robyn , I was going to mention the Three Sisters . I enjoyed reading about the legend and your photos were great.

Tanaya said...

It sounds like you are trying to discover your Personal Legend.

We all knew our Personal Legend, when we were children. You know, that THING that was THE thing. The only thing that we were to be/do/feel/experience. The path that was chosen for us, that we are so afraid to follow. But many of us forgot what that Personal Legend was. And we don't all have the courage to confront our own dreams.

Whenever we are doing something that fills our soul with joy, we are following our path. Once we overcome our fears and setbacks and defeats, we can begin living our Personal Legend. We will be filled with euporia and confidence. We can live more intensely, more fully.

Believe yourself worthy of your "thing". Follow your dreams and you will help the Soul of the World.

Jana B said...

Miss R, I will think about this a while and then answer you. But for now... *giving you a big hug*

couragetocreatewriteandlove said...

I am praying for you to satisfy your thirst and also to keep being the way you are, which it is joyful and free spirit always in search. (I see the real way you are). You rock!!!
Thank you for the pictures and the legend, and I love your collage, for me it's perfect but the artists gave you very interesting and wise advise, so Congratulations on trying your best!

paris parfait said...

Your post reminds me of the Bible passage "Seek and ye shall find." Love to you, dear Robyn. xo

Sherri Williams said...

As I read Paris Parfait's comment

"Knock and it shall be open unto you" screamed out at me! Knock and knock loudly if you need too.

Suzie Q said...

Hello lovely Robyn :) You've had some fabtastic suggestions so far - Daisy has got us all going on that one! Great idea :)

Here's what I thought of:

"When the student is ready, the Teacher will appear"

I think I read that in a Richard Bach book, but it sounds like a classic to me. I thought you might need reminding - I know I do! If you haven't read it already, try treating yourself to a copy of Richard Bach's 'Illusions'. You may well find some interesting things to think about in there...

Sending my love and hugs for you,
Suze xXx

J C said...

Robyn, I hope you find your inner self one day soon. Keep trying. You're worth it. When I was much younger, I went thru something like you are feeling. I turned to poetry, and writing, and faith. I still have those poems from many years ago. I still have the faith too. And sometimes I still write. I had to search my soul deeply and the search came out in my poetry. Hugs to you.

lizzzzzzzy said...

Thank you for sharing from your very soul, you took a risk at being vulnerable. Yet I feel it will begin an interesting journey, pack light. Lizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy

Ann said...

I've been feeling the same need myself. Too release something inside me. I've found some of an outlet with art but I'm trying to break out of the box that I put myself in. I need to express myself without worrying what others will say. I found this quote on the net somewhere and posted it on my art blog. I like what it says. "Allowing yourself to pursue your creative passions, no matter how deeply buried, is freedom— Kristi Kovalishyn." You will find your freedom!

hollibobolli said...

That's why I write, and that's why I feel so much pain when I'm censored.

I hope you find the relief you're looking for - but I truly feel you will.

Laurie said...

Sending you lots of hugs Robyn. I have often wondered what my purpose was on earth, life's journey just seems to keep me wanting more. I think you are one of the most creative people I know. You've got some great adive here, and everyone is rooting for you ~ let your creative spirit fly!

Suzy said...

Oooh, this sounds like a place I've been before.
I like Daisy's thoughts about going forward, one page a day.
I agree with Terri/Tinker also that SARK's work can be really helpful.
The Artists'Way helped me a lot at one point.
And then, over time, my outlook simply changed. I did so much, rather frantically, for a couple of years, and all of a sudden -- peace.