today I am lacking in self confidence and I don't know why... I mean, I am the same person as I was yesterday... so why today am I feeling like this?
I am usually quite confident in who I am and how I decorate my home. But one thing I know about myself is I worry about what people think of me and how I am perceived... well sometimes. Most times, I go along my merry little way. It usually happens around certain types of people.... I have a few friends that are not really into the same things I do. I quilt with them and they are lovely, lovely girls. But they don't quite understand blogs or swapping or any of the collages that I am doing. And they sure as hell don't know about my spiritual search, my constant craving to know the meaning of life. I shudder to think what they would say if they knew about my 'soul searching journal', that I am trying to get going.
I am even different when I am around them and I hate it. I act normal. why? Why don't I have enough confidence to just be me?
One of them called me today and asked if I was coming to patchwork tomorrow and I told her that this term I was doing an art class... so she said she was calling in to drop something of..... now I am sick to the stomach with worry about what she will think when she sees my messy verandah (yes, my housekeeping has been taking a back seat to my art work lately) . Why am I worried about what she will think of all the bells & other hippy stuff hanging around... and my lotus blossom pond at the door. I just want to be true to myself and I don't know how. . . am I the only one like this?
14 comments:
EMBRACE your uniqueness!!!! What others think doesn't matter! THey are all probably jealous anyway! Wheee hoo!
You are who you are, enjoy it, if people think you are eccentric it is usually in a nice friendly way if they are friends. I know people can say in a pleasant way to me 'oh but you are such a dippy hippy' they mean no offense and I embrace the description. Take it as a compliment.
For years I was always worried about what people would think of me, I'd do anything to be accepted, even if it meant doing something that I was so against...I've now learned that I am who I am and if they don't like it, TOUGH! lol I think your need to be accepted is what is going on here...Robyn, if they can't accept who you are, then are they worth having as a friend? Think about that! xoxox
Have you ever kept a mood chart? The days you feel less than...super up days, anxious days, irritable days, and mixed days...then look for a pattern. You look very young and seems to soon for the change, which sometimes can explain shifts off center. But if you just wanted to fly the plane, forgive my suggestions. Some times it feels good to air our feelings bad, good, or indifferent. LIzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy
Nope you are not the only one.
I immediately thought of one of my favourite quotes, which I believe to be so very true. It's attributed to Goethe.
"As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live."
It takes practice, practice, practice, but it works!
If you worry about what other people think, you will forever walk on egg shells and you'll never find and be your true self.
So BE WHO YOU ARE!!!! You are just fine.
xoxo
Miss R, I SO understand how you are feeling. I can't give you the answers... for me, it's just something I noticed lately happening to me. I'm guessing, it's because my friends are SO different from one another, and they are starting to meet one another... and suddenly I'm realizing how much I change around each one of them, without even realizing it.
So... I'm not even sure what our first step towards conquering this should be? Maybe just being conscious when we're with others, of how we act?
Either way... *hugs* I hope your friends see what an awesome person you are, the WHOLE you... cuz so far, you rock!!!!! :o)
I am a lot like you in the vein. I wonder and wonder and overthink. I worry endlessly. I yearn for the grace of a child or a porpoise or of the Dalai Lama, to really BE, just BE.
You are such a special person, and I'm sure it is sometimes impossible to celebrate yourself. In the meantime, I'll celebrate you until you get back on solid ground.
Robyn, you are wonderful the way you are! And if someone else doesn't think so, they don't have to hang about! So there! Get your confidence on, your clever, talented, beautiful woman! xo
You are the only YOU in the whole universe! Now THAT is awesome and so are you sweetie! You are a free spirit...you are unique and gifted and loving...live your specialness and don't give "a you know what" what others think....You are a song.... now sing....this must be a very powerful moon hon coming up...I am just a wreck right now...I cry and cry and cry...but I must need too...if ya need an ear I am always here for you...drop me an email anytime you need to vent...loveyou...Jen
I know. I always worry too. And I have a group of friends who are nothing like me, but that I've known forever.
Sandi
I would adore your messy verandah, Robyn! I would love everything about your gorgeous, individual home...
Yet I am just the same - I hardly have anyone round to my house, as it's a tip most of the time and I do get ashamed sometimes! Hopeless!
Hope you're feeling better today, lovely, and that your friend brought something nice for you.
Love & Hugs, Suze xXx
I don't really identify myself as a "creative blogger" per se -- and if you visit my blog you'll see that it leans more toward social commentary. But the things you write about are very dear to my heart.
A few years ago I "did" The Artist's Way for quite a while -- I think I followed her practices like morning pages and artist dates for a couple of years. And the biggest change I found was (and these were the words that best seemed to describe it) that for the first time in my adult life I felt comfortable in my own skin. I don't write morning pages anymore and in some ways art has been placed on a back burner for me, but that new found comfort has stayed.
I love the sense of you that I get from your writing and images.
By the way, I am envious of your lotus pond. I am still trying to figure out a) how to fit one in my miniature yard and b) how to keep koi over winter. (It gets really cold here.) A couple of my neighbors have fishponds, fondly referred to as "raccoon sushi bars." Your house sounds lovely and comfortable.
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