"There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting."

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


today the grief comes in waves. I sob and sob. I email people constantly, hoping that someone will say a magic word to take this emptiness away. I still cannot believe that there will be no more words of wisdom, no more emails, no more support & advice from her. No more sabbat gift swaps. Yesterday, I received my yule package from Daisy, it sits here unopened. To look at it makes me physically sick and yet, I am wanting to hold it, knowing it was the last thing she sent to me. I want to smell it and absorb it... but it sits unopened. She emailed me and told me she had sent the package off - her words were "at least I managed to get your yule package off" - now its here. I tried to do something normal today, I drove to my little hippy shop but it was closed... so I just drove. Then I came home, emailed more people...hoping that the magick word would be said and then I had a sleep... then I woke with a start and decided to go to Katoomba. I thought if I bought myself something it would take the pain away.... so I am now the proud owner of a GreenMan rondel that I will hang in my home.... but I look at it and it means nothing now....oh my god, this ache is just dreadful.