last night we received news that my sister in law has terminal cancer. stage 4. She has had cancer for a year now and having treatment but it seems it didn't do what it was supposed to do and the cancer has spread - she has maybe 20 mths to live. I know this is not about me but it has sent me into a total spin.
Being a cancer surivor - there is always a niggling fear in the back of my mind that my cancer will recur.... I know I AM cancer free today but when ever I hear of someones diagnosis, the fears and the memories rear their ugly heads - creating havoc with my mind and emotions. I re-live the days of my diagnosis, my treatments and I feel the fear. Very real, even 6 years later.
so what do I do for my sister in law? do I keep thinking positive while everyone else is resigned to the fact that she is going to die? Do I keep preaching up on my soap box about Petrea King & Lance Armstrong - telling her to stay positive and use affirmations? Because they do work - miracles do happen, I know that. Do I tell her that there are many other things she can do to fight this disease? I just don't know.
I am scared today
36 comments:
You don't have to say anything...just be there for her whenever she wants or needs to talk. The comfort of knowing her loved ones are near her is what she needs right now. xox
So sorry to hear this Robyn, I realise how unsettling this must be for you. Seek out your healing doll and be strong.
Oh, Robyn, so terribly sorry to hear this news! I think the best thing you can do for your sister-in-law is be supportive; to talk if she wants to talk; listen if she needs it; just to be there in all your wonderful glory! I know this hits a nerve for you and it's normal to be scared. But as you said, miracles do happen. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and especially your sister-in-law. xo
So frightening and sad, there are a lot of layers of emotion and fear here. When people are that sick, so many people run away. Just being there for her will mean the world.
I am so sorry to hear about this news. Big hug to you and your family.
this is indeed distressing and frightful news. I am so sorry to hear this and my thoughts go out to your SIL and your family. Perhaps you can take your cues from her - being there for whatever she needs, whenever she needs it.
XOXO
Yes, as others have said - just be there for her, in whatever way you can, though I'm sure it must be scary for you - but maybe your having survived it will give her hope and strength. Sending you - and your sister-in-law, many, many (((hugs))) and prayers!!
XOXO
I'm so very sorry to hear this terrible news. I would say just be there for her. You can stay positive and ask for whatever outcome is the best for her.
It's normal for fearful memories to come up for you, but just remember they are just memories. xox
sorry to hear this. Tell her not to give up, maybe they can find a treatment to help her
I'm so sorry to hear about your SIL. I agree with the others.... just be there for her. I'll send good thoughts her way, and some for you, too.
Robyn, yes I also feel that nothing needs to be said, she knows just what her destiny is I am sure and while she has your love and your warm heart wrapped around her she will feel safe knowing you truly care.
Be there for her, touch her with your faith and keep her spirts high I know you will do that and more.
Lee-ann
Oh no..terrible news..I'm so sorry..I would go along with what she wants, if she wants to fight help her to do that, if she wants to surrender support her in doing that. It's my belief that we all go when we are meant to, that no passing is before it's time..she will know if it's her time.
I am sure this brings back so many emotions you had for yourself. First stay positive with yourself that you are a healthy lady now...
For your sister-in-law, I think you always need to stay somewhat positive. I always tried to be some ray of hope to my mother so she had the will to start a new day. There is still some precious, quality time to share and Never Give Up On A Cure!!
Lots of hugs,
Connie
Thinking of you, sweetheart. Nothing I can add to the wonderful words already spoken here. Just be there, with your unique understanding.
Love to you & the rest of the family.
Hugs, Suze xXx
Hope you can feel my arms around you today.
So sorry...sending love and hugs to you and family.
Just run and give her a hug.
She could not wish for a better sil,be strong, ask the cosmos for a miracle, and keep believing.Would she consider seeing a spiritual healer? I was just reading in a mag, about a lady who is now cancer free, after being given the worst news, but alongside her treatment she saw a spiritual healer. It can happen, my thoughts and prayers and affirmations are for you and your sister in law Robyn.xxx
Hi,
I found my way here through Groggy Froggy. This isn't an easy post to comment on and especially not as it's my first comment on your blog.
I just wanted to let you know that both you and your sister-in-law are in my thoughts. I'm sending all the positive thoughts I can manage and hoping they'll travel all across the world to you both.
I'm not good with dealing with illness. It scares me and I don't know what to say or do. But I think it's important to remember that we're allowed to be scared and it's alright if we don't know how to act. There are no rules and I'm sure that whatever you say or do, it will comfort her.
Lots of blessings,
Elisabeth
Dear Robyn
I am terribly sorry to hear this. You must remain positive though, for your own wellbeing at least.
I agree with others, just let her know you are there if she needs someone.
Sending you lots of light.
Liz
Sorry to hear about this. I agree with what every one else has said. Stay positive, be yourself and support her in any way you can. Also treat yourself well.
Kate
Just follow your heart Robyn. It will be your best guide and won't let you down.
Robyn so sorry to hear about your SIL. I know this must be bringing up so many memories, thoughts, and so much fear for you. But, as you are trying to help her, remember to take care of yourself. Just let her lead you in how you proceed. Love, Hugs, and Blessings coming your way for you, your SIL, and all of your family.
I agree with the "just being there" advice - at least for now. You'll know what to do when the time comes. The C word is big in our family and it's my worst fear. Which is why I should stop a lot of my bad habits immediately.
Bless you and your sister-in-law. You'll both be in my thoughts and prayers.
HUGS.
You are cancer free and a very positive person. I light a candle for you and your Sister-in-law.
XOXO
My only advice, for what it's worth, is to follow your sis-in-laws lead. If she decides to fight, then give her everything you know of to help her... but if she decides it's her time to go, really all you can do is just stay by her side.
I know it's hard to do that though. *big hug*
The problem is that what every words I say it would come out wrong.
But I'm sending my loving positive energy to you.
Your words made me cry. being there for your sister in law will be the best. Staying postive helps too. I know, my sister died last year from a cancer and it took it's toll on my family. prayers for you and yours.
My prayers go to your SIL and family and friends..Give her your love and time and energy...be there for her like everyone is saying...listen and touch, hug and kiss. Give her your strength. You and all are in my daily devotions. xxxooo
My love to you my sweet friend. This can be difficult to bare when the person you want to shower with love is a very long way away. You be her faith keeper and surround herin white light. With love in our hearts, anything can be accomplished. I will send you my energy today. xox Nicole
I pray that your sister in law lives many, many days of joy still ahead.
I'm so sorry to hear about your sis in law. Know you are being thought about and prayed for always - both of you.
Oh, Pet.....fear is such a powerfully strong emotion with such negative energy. I know this enemy well. Surround yourself with what you love, speak out loud about what you love, write of what you are so grateful for and all of these positive energy thoughts will then be a magnet to even more positive energy......and one last thing I would recommend is watching The Secret. Talk about powerful. Blessings to you ~ Rella
I have been down the road, when my sister was diagnosed, and given 2years to live. That was four years ago. Stage four is serious, and being realistic is important. But silent compassion is nutral. I think fear is always luking to consume, your battle can be a positive reminder there is good way to battle the monster of cancer. It is a Blessing that you have walked through the fire, and was not consumed. I am very respectful
of the ordeal you have gone through, and grateful you are here to share with all of us. Many times you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable, but it is a gift to all of us who read a blog. Lizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy
Dear Robyn , Sad news indeed , everyone has gave you wonderful advice.Just be there for her.Sending you hugs , STRENGTH , and lots of LOVE.
JoyceAnn
Oh my word, I am so sad for this news today!
I wish to give you and your sister in law such big hugs. Instead of telling her everything, hold her close and let her listen to your heart. The message is there...
I am sending as much love and peace and strength out to you and yours today.
*hug*
Muse
((hugs)) to you first and formost...my sister is one year past a breast cancer diagnosis and she still has the niggling worries!!
Be as positive as you can for her and you!!
:-D
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