what dreams are made of :~

last year, when I was busy being attuned to reiki and taking course after course on various healing modalities and being told by Doreen Virtue that I had a 'divine life purpose' - all I was doing really, was stressing myself out... I became a reiki 'master' in 3 easy lessons and virtually ran around thinking I was going to heal the world...... forgetting about me.

After the 'let down' with the Doreen Virtue Angel Intuitive course (yes, I am an AI) ... I continued on, searching for whatever it was that I was supposed to be 'doing' here ....... and oneday, I was outside, thinking to myself,and asking again, what the damn hell my divine life purpose was and if I really had one. . . and I heard clearly - "this life you are here to be healed, not to be the healer" - it really was like a bolt of lightning, very plainly stated - by angels, I believe..... so the end of 2006 came and 2007 rolled in ......

the other night - I was 'asleep' and I saw myself in a green forest surrounded with faeries - I was a healer. I was a woman and I had bags hanging off my rope belt. It seemed that I was hidden in the forest by the faery folk - I was human and people from nearby villages would come to me for potions and wisdom & healing.

Waking up - I thought to myself - just what the hell is my life purpose this time? I heard a voice, distinctly saying - "physician heal thy self" - and now I know, that this life IS a healing one for ME- I have all the healing tools or knowledge inside and they will be revealed as I need them. No one else can heal me, I don't have to give my power away to anyone - I have all the answers for me.

All my life, I have pondered herbs, weeds, rocks & stones... mixing up potions in a bowl when I was a child... wrapping the potions around my teddy's leg.. I had altars & I had beads and I got immense pleasure from doing 'voodoo' dances, much to my mothers horror, she thought I was on the road straight to hell (of course, she thought this only because of society's conditioning) ....... it is like I have all this knowledge inside from previous incarnations - and now, I am beginning to think that maybe this 'life' that I saw was somewhere in Wales or maybe even Cornwall ....definately somewhere in a Celtic land

this new moon

“By their Tre, their Pol, and Pen,
Ye shall know the Cornish men.”

I just cannot believe how things happen in life ~ last night I was sitting here, searching desperately for my roots when I decided to click on a link that had been sent to me ages ago ... and decided to search for Francis Tregilgas.... and there he was - full family tree, completed back to 1480.
descendants of John Tregilgas

they come from areas such as St. Ewe & Kea, Veryan & Mevagissey, St. Enoder and of course, St Columb Major - most of the early family seem to have been tinners.... whatever that is.

I haven't varified any of this yet - but it sure looks like my tree. A lady in the UK has been re-searching the Tregilgas name for many, many years - these are the results of her findings... it seems to me that she is the daughter of Laura's sister Louisa.. so we have a common link with Francis and Elizabeth.... when I found this late last night, I was beside myself with excitement - and it has made me feel even more settled. so I am a true cornish girl - through and through.

*sigh*

desperately seeking.

I am an aussie girl with Cornish blood rushing through my veins, yes!

still not satisfied that I have at last proved I am from good Cornish stock. oh no! I need to find more and it is proving difficult. Because I just don't know which way to go from here - each time I find a website - I have to pay. Which of course I don't mind doing, if I am going to discover someone who belongs in my tree. pay 5 pounds here or buy vouchers there..or join for 299 pounds a year... but which one to choose? Or I can pay researchers to do it for me for 25 pounds an hour !

this is what I know so far:

Laura Tregilgas was born 1872 in East Stonehouse, Devon UK

to parents:

Francis Tregilgas - born 1833 in St Columb, Cornwall, UK (parents - William & Catherine *I think*)

and

Elizabeth Curnow - born 1835, Perran, Cornwall, UK (father - John *I think)

*Francis and Elizabeth were married in 1858 and lived in Bodmin Cornwall from 1861 until they moved to Devon sometime before 1881.

as far as I can make out - Francis and Elizabeth had 8 children - one of whom was my great grandma, Laura.

of course, these names aren't unusual, making it harder to trace.... I desperately want to find a little more - I don't want to hug some far distant cousin nor do I want to make a claim on the family fortune ( I don't think there is one) - however, I would love to know where my wiccan roots come from and I am planning on visiting Cornwall, either next year or the year after and I want to walk the places that my ancestors did and maybe find out just why my soul yearns so much.

I have opened a can of worms

yes ! - this family tree search has me like a woman possessed - or is that obsessed?

I think both!

I started with the Tregilgas that lead me to the Curnow family - not happy with knowing that I have real cornish blood flowing through my veins - oh no! I then decided to find out what happened to my ancestors - some seemed to disappear between census years. Of course there is no way of knowing what happened, I guess...

then I decided to start on my Nan's side of the family - big mistake! it takes me right back to Tennessee, Kentucky both in the US and also into Surrey in England.

if you don't hear from me, I am lost somewhere in Cornwall, in the 17th century.........

cornish blood running through my veins

yes! Laura has been found!

thanks to super sleuth DAISY LUPIN... she didn't settle til she found Laura for me - forgoing her housework, sleep & cooking I am sure.

I have been like some demented fool, searching the internet for my cornish roots like they were going to grow out of the computer screen, not sleeping, Joe telling me he is nearly out of socks, Sophie wanting to be fed And shock and horror, not even worrying about blogging. . .hello?. . . I am on a mission here, to find my cornish roots. . .

The name was spelled incorrectly that is why Laura was so hard to track down... but Daisy and her History major did not stop til the job was done... even though Laura was born in East Stonehouse, Devon ( and yes, I was so disappointed when I found this out) - her parents were born in Cornwall - father Francis in St Columb and mother Elizabeth in Perran. Funny thing too, is that Laura had a sister called Louisa, I never knew this til yesterday. & that is my eldest daughters name.

So I am from strong Cornish stock and have real cornish blood flowing through my veins. OMG! I cannot believe it - at last. (I know I sound over top, but I am really excited !)

I will never ever be able to thank Daisy enough! You just don't know how much this means to me. My mum was saying just the other day that she has noticed the older I get the more I am looking like Laura and I am even starting to do things in her ways - so I have the Tregilgas ways for sure... even my garden is looking like hers......I feel like that part of me that was missing is finally coming home. Now all I need is that promised trip to Cornwall and I will be complete.

the picture above was taken in Devon in 1914, just before Laura and her children left to come to Australia. The man with them is her brother Charles.... Laura's husband William had come to Australia with the Royal Navy and loved it so much he wanted his family to grow up here... sadly he died while on active duty ..she was left a widow in a strange land with all these children ..

staring out at me. . .

next to my computer I have a photo - a tin photo of my great grandma from Cornwall. Laura CURNOW Tregilgas. That is all I know of her... oh I know her children's names and her husband's name but I don't know exactly where in Cornwall that she actually lived - at the moment it is looking like either St. Austell, St.Erth or Redruth - all guesses.... She looks so sad - her husband was chief petty officer in the Royal Navy and they moved to Australia sometime in the early 1900's. He died while on active duty, leaving her in this strange land to bring up her children. She believed in the Fay, I am told. Does she look so sad because she is missing her Cornwall?
The other day, I 'saw' her while meditating - she was walking along a steep path along the edge of the ocean - I am sure she is helping me find her.... after all, her son, my Pa would say to me that I had the 'Tregilgas ways' whatever they are. . .

Easter ? saturday - confused thoughts from my journal

lord, I am confused or at least my soul is.....

just having celebrated Mabon - we are now celebrating easter. to me, it feels ridiculous to be celebrating oestra/easter in autumn

- with baby chickens, eggs, and bunnies that are really springtime things. But that is the way it is and I find if I can blend all of this, without fighting it, I become more settled. Easter is a christian celebration and I guess being bought up a christian, I can still embrace it with my pagan touch. . .same as I have to for Christmas in summer.

If it were just me - I would just go on normally but I have grandchildren and I must have easter eggs for them

. . . so down here in Australia this little witch's wheel of the year is slightly different - Mabon, easter, Samhain......

I struggle with who I am and where I belong.... lately I have been feeling very strong connections to earth, as if I am part of it. Part of this wonderful, vast land, we call Australia.

On my maternal nana's side I am a 4th generation australian but on my Pa's side, I am only 2nd generation - and that is where I feel my soul connection to Cornwall... it is still a part of me, still in my genes...I guess handed down from my great Nan - Laura Tregilgas...so I plod along, this easter Saturday, dazed and confused..going about my daily life.....today we are going to the organic supermarket. I am gradually switching over to totally organic - a hard thing to do but well worth the effort. I need to buy some organic pecans & chocolate - I am making a chocolate pecan crumble cake for tomorrow. Then when we come home, I hope to spend some time in my garden...

(you should be able to print the colouring pages out, so that you can play & colour over easter)

dancing with the pixies

the photo above was found on the net - I don't have any callistemons in my garden, but after this weekend, I will.... the faeries want me to plant one... if you look closely you will see the little seed pods where they live, where I saw them as a child. . . . .

And as a child, I can remember dancing with the pixies and laughing and clapping gleefully & having faeries as my confidantes. I would talk to the faeries who lived in the 'bottlebrush bush' outside my home - making little houses for them, giving them food and little gifts to make them happy. I knew without a doubt that they were real.
But as I grew up, I was always told to 'get my head out of the clouds' and to be 'sensible, there is no room for fluffing off with the faeries in this world' - so my 'sight' was closed down and I have a terrible time with it now - inside, deep down I know & believe faeries exist and I can feel the faery energy around me but part of me won't believe -the sensible, doubting part of me, the 'grown-up' part of me.... that is one of my turmoils every day of my life...

I have books and cards and I meditate but I just can't see them anymore - it breaks my heart :(

a little later today, I am going to do a little ritual at my faery altar - to invite them back into my life - I am going to ask them to open my 'sight' again.....

Vale ~ Billy

"most people I know, think that I'm crazy"

yes, those words were sung by Billy Thorpe about me, I am sure....

he died this morning aged just over 60.....

when I was a teenager, I danced to Billy Thorpe and the Aztecs. I had his name written all over my pencil case, posters on my wall. I was in love..... it is scary when people from your teens start to pass away.......

for those of you who asked..... a legend. . .

after my post yesterday, I had many emails asking about the Three Sisters. Yes, there is a legend. I also have a spiritual tie to Katoomba - when I go there, I feel emotional and spiritually connected. I go there nearly every day so I can just be there and absorb the energy. I often comment on it to Joe - how it makes me feel, sometimes it makes me cry with sheer 'oneness'

and didn't have a clue what it was until my 'wise woman' pointed out that it could be a power center or vortex for me and yes! I think that is it....it really makes my heart 'shiver & tingle' with pure emotional spirituality (if that makes sense)

The Aboriginal dream-time legend has it that three sisters, 'Meehni', 'Wimlah' and Gunnedoo' lived in the Jamison Valley as members of the Katoomba tribe.

These beautiful young ladies had fallen in love with three brothers from the Nepean tribe,

yet tribal law forbade them to marry.


The brothers were not happy to accept this law

and so decided to use force to capture the three sisters causing a major tribal battle.

As the lives of the three sisters were seriously in danger,

a witchdoctor from the Katoomba tribe took it upon himself

to turn the three sisters into stone

to protect them from any harm.

While he had intended to reverse the spell

when the battle was over,

the witchdoctor himself was killed.

As only he could reverse the spell

to return the ladies to their former beauty,

the sisters remain in their magnificent rock formation

as a reminder of this battle for generations to come.

Cornwall

Laura - taken in her later life, in Australia.

I have never been to Cornwall. Well, not in this life anyhow. But ever since I can remember, the word Cornwall has stirred my soul. It has made me wonder. Funny, how things happen. I always thought my Pa's family came from Devon. East Stonehouse to be exact. That is what it says on my Pa's birth certificate and I know that they sailed to Australia from Plymouth. My great grandfather was a chief petty officer with the Royal Navy and they came to live in Australia sometime in the early 1900's. But just the last few months I have learned that my great grandma, who I didn't know, came from Cornwall. Her family name was Tregilgas. She had a brother named Charlie. I have been looking for family ties via the internet with the help of my friend Daisy Lupin - not much so far but I haven't really been serious about it, once I am - watch out! I don't want to find someone I am related to and go to England and knock on their door and say - 'hi, I am a long lost relative from Australia' ! NO! I just want to know my roots, to know why I am so interested in hedgewitchery, herbs & the moon. Ever since I was little, I have known about herbs. I have been interested in them. Not for culinary purposes but medicinal and folklore reasons. I would even wrap weeds around my teddy & dolls legs when they were hurt. How did I know to do that?

I have an affinity with the lady above, my great Nan, Laura. I wish I had known her. Do you think maybe she was a witch? I do.

My favourite CD, Medicine Woman, that I play constantly is by a musician called Medwyn Goodall. I was looking on the net the other night, for some more of his music and found out that he lives in Cornwall and has a CD by that name. I bought it. I received it in the mail yesterday and it haunts my soul. love it!!!!

And a few days ago, I received a lovely package of postcards in the mail from Sheila. All from Cornwall. Thank you so much Sheila xo it was a lovely, lovely thing to do.